Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Flames

This entry is a bit of a cheat. I'm in a fiction writing class this semester, and so I've been writing, well, fiction. Short stories. My second story, which I half dreamed was my favorite. It is largely unedited (ergo, no time in my bustling daily life to sit down and go through it, though I have noted pretty much all the blaring mistakes) and has a rushed last three pages. It was a hard thing to write because, in my mind, it feels like it needs to be longer - 200 pages? 300? Well, certainly more than the twenty one double spaced pages it occupies, anyhow. It's probably too predictable and just, too, *waves hand* you know, but it was a labor of love. It is here I present to you my short story, Lasting Burns. I haven't updated in so long and have no time or subject matter to regale you all with currently. So, o hai.

Lasting Burns

The arrow missed by only half a foot, plunging into the tree at her left.

Emmer did not dare a glance back, but the thunderous pounding of horses from behind was enough to urge her on. Her grasp on the branch was unsteady as she advanced, but with each breath her grip grew stronger. Her focus came and a certain calmness with it. Emmer watched her fingers, numb now from the cold, lace roughly against each tree limb, hooking an arm around the next branch and pulling herself farther into the canopies. It would be harder for them to see her, even in the snow, and more difficult for their arrows to reach her. It was not true safety, but it provided needed cover. The sun sunk low in the sky, rimmed by a blue-hued darkness, as Emmer wove quietly around the spindly arms of the trees. She willed her attention to the climb, and the sound of distant pursuit melted away.

Emmer had been a child of great concentration, brighter than any of her brothers and just as troublesome. She grew up the sole daughter of Earl Roric and Countess Hana of Kale, lord and lady of a Carpannian province in the south. It was not a very large parcel of land, but Carpanne itself was of inconsequential size, cornered by the two much larger countries of Baste and Topus. Carpanne did, however, border a particularly calm region of the Southern Ocean, which lent some much-needed notoriety to the otherwise inconspicuous kingdom.

Yohan and Emmer were closest in age with hardly a year between them. Yet Yohan paraded about as if he were the king of all Carpanne, noble and superior merely by virtue of the year between them. Naturally, however, he did everything first — he began his lessons, learned to ride, went to the capitol with father all before her. He carried on as if he had been given the stars and the moon for that year, no matter that he was the last of six brothers. And so it was that there was no one in all the world that Emmer loathed more than Yohan.

And if his pomp and age were not enough, he was also the first — and only — member of the Earl's immediate family to find himself a Speaker. If one survived the experience, it was a special fortune in Carpanne, and in other lands, to be a Speaker. Yohan and Emmer, by nature, spent heir childhoods together. Their brothers were a great deal older, off becoming proper sons or whatever begged their heed. Emmer would have liked differently, but even Yohan was a better alternative to have on rambles than just herself. It was on such ramble that Yohan slipped into the river. Emmer apologized for every evil thing she had thought of him as she ran beside the river, shrieking and crying as he struggled to overcome the current. Yohan was a weak swimmer, bobbing under the water as the river tumbled him as if he weighed no more than a pebble. It was then that she appeared, his Listener.

She was a lovely thing, Emmer thought, brown and even black in some places. She was bigger than any creature Emmer had come across, and she wondered at the sharp awareness in her eyes. As quick as it had happened, the bear had entered the river and scooped Yohan up. She rolled over the bank, eased him down and waited for him to right himself. It took several coughs, wheezes and a few incredulous glances for him to attend the bear. They stared at one another for a long while until she ambled off into the woods again, Yohan and Emmer behind her. When she begged him for answers, for she had not known what she had witnessed, he refused to say anything on the matter. Yet when he denied her, it lacked his usual authority. Emmer didn't ask him after that, but could not stop herself from demanding answers from her mother as she went to sleep that night:

"Mother, what is a Listener?" asked Emmer, sitting up against her pillows.

"They are a mystery, dear," said Hana softly, "and what it is that makes Yohan a Speaker and not you or your brothers— that is a bigger mystery yet. Don't be too upset, darling. Don't worry."

"But what is a Listener, Mother?" Emmer cried impatiently, waving her hands as if to erase her cloud of jealousy. "Are they all bears like Yohan's?"

"No, Emmer, they are not all bears. They can be foxes or even chickens, I suppose, so long as they Listen," Hana said, a thoughtful furrow in her brow. "Emmer, think of the fire there in your fireplace. Do you remember when you fell into it last year?"

"It burned me," Emmer lay back dramatically, a hand to her leg. "And it hurt and my leg is all wrinkled still."

For added measure, Emmer pulled her gown up one knee, jutting her leg in display. Just below the knee on one leg the skin puckered and colored differently, a wrinkled bit of lighter flesh. Emmer's mother leaned forward and rested her cold hand against the healed burn. Emmer shivered.

"It scarred you," said the Countess, "when your leg touched the fire there. Listeners are like those flames there, Emmer. They flicker in and out of lives, and they leave lasting burns."

"Scars?" Emmer said, head tipped to one side.

"Yes," she said, "but necessary scars."

"What do you mean by necessary, Mother?"

"I told you not to worry, Emmer. You're going to go to bed and dream of wonderfully ordinary things, am I understood?"

Emmer didn't answer but said, "Mother, do you suppose there are human Listeners? You said a Listener could be anything and— "

"No, Emmer, I think not," said the Countess absently, gently pushing her daughter farther into her bed, adjusting the covers as she did so. "It has never been heard of, and is quite impossible."

"But why?" Emmer scoffed, prickling at the finality in her mother's words. How could anything be impossible? It was such an ridiculous thought, that something could never exist because nobody had ever heard or thought of it. Nobody had ever thought of water, and it existed quite without the consent of people. There was a lot of it, too.

"It would be a very unforgiving life for a person, don't you think?" Hana said, more to herself than her daughter. "Though there were once dragon Listeners, they say."

"Dragons?" Emmer said breathlessly, eyes wide and mouth agape. There was nothing Emmer loved more than the idea of dragons. Her eyes went instantly to the pile of books stacked neatly on her mantle, one of which contained a story about a bright red dragon with orange hair. It was true that the story wasn't very nice about the red dragon, calling her a villain of all sorts, but stories never thought very highly of dragons anyhow.

"Dragons," said Hana, a pat to her daughter's bouncing leg. "Though they are, of course, all gone now —"

"What happened to them?" Emmer asked.

"Maybe another night, dear. Not tonight."

"But—"

"Not tonight."

"Mother, if I ever have a Listener, well I'm just positive she'll be a dragon."

"Goodnight, Emmer."

Eventually, and quite throughout the subsequent years, Yohan understood how greatly it aggravated his only sister that he should have a Listener. He grew with a superiority that he could not afford, but his mother was too gentle to think it more than the cavalier of a young man and her brothers far too occupied with their own emerging lives. If her father ever thought ill of it, he said nothing. Yohan eventually outgrew Emmer's company. It bothered her little, but made for a very lonesome time. When they did meet, however, nothing had changed and he always managed to casually remind Emmer of Bear — what he had taken to calling his Listener — with a great air of importance, and leave her again with a simmering jealousy. Emmer had hoped for a great many years that Yohan would come to understand his folly, and the time had come when her wish was granted.

Of all things, he had stolen from a king. With his father on business at the king's estate in Isidrid, Baste's capitol city, he had seen a little sculpture. It was said to not be made of any great material, of a nondescript brown stone, but Yohan had liked the shape. It was a heavy bison that fit in the palm of his hand, and that was the only reassurance he needed as he slipped it into his pocket. He had taken it from the king's gallery without a second thought. Yet it was of Yohan's complete astonishment that the king had noticed the bison's absence and ordered a search of all his guests. When it was found, Emmer's hopes were set in motion.

Lord Kale sent word home of Yohan's imprisonment by the king. It was not long after that the seven of them, Emmer included, huddled together in hushed conversation. They met in Emmer's room, cramped by the presence of one another, but said nothing on the matter. Jebb and Arlyn, as the eldest, led most of the conversation — dissecting the report, grieving the foolishness of their brother and, most dangerous of all, planning a rescue.

"Why should we go, Arlyn? His Highness has never needed our help before," said Onnto. "Stealing from a king? This is bad even for Yohan. He'll be hard-pressed to find sympathy from me. Some prison time would do the boy some good."

"Yohan is most deserving," echoed another.

"Temmis, Onnto," admonished Jebb, waving his hand. "Yohan is our brother. We can't just leave him there. Even if he is a little — brash."

"Brash," snorted Onnto. "And I suppose going barefoot in a Carpannian blizzard is just a little foolish?"
"He'll be killed," Emmer said quietly, holding her knees. "They'll kill him."

Her brothers stopped. In the ensuing silence, Onnto said: "You don't think... Not even a Bastian king would go so far over a little trinket…"

Even as he said it, they all knew it to be true. Baste did not treat foreign criminals, especially Carpannians, with mercy. Their king was not particular known for his malice, but Carpanne and Baste had been on tentative terms for decades, with little thanks to the scuffles between minor border lords. The king was within rights to punish Yohan, and no one would cry out for the life of an Earl's seventh son.

"We have to get him."

The plan had been simple enough. They would travel to Isidrid under the guise of appealing the king, even though Roric himself had made several unsuccessful attempts. They would assess the conditions once they arrived, and the smallest of them, Temmis and Emmer, would travel to the prisons before the sun set. The other brothers had planned on an undetermined diversion, in hopes that they could retrieve Yohan undetected. None of them was hopeful on the journey there, however. It was a four day ride to Isidrid, and they spent most of it quietly, or in low, doubtful whispers.

--

Emmer's fingers went cold, even as she blew warm breath onto them. She paused for a moment before looping herself through the next tree. It was to her benefit presently that she had grown in the company of seven boys, each of whom loved to climb and jump and run. She would need that to fortify her safety, even though she had not seen arrows for some time. The sun had finally set, and the sky darkened with each minute, blazing stars newly visible. She prayed the darkness would be her friend, a cloak to hide herself from the king's men. She hoped the same to her brother's, wherever they had run. Emmer had lost Jebb and Frandis miles back, and she prayed for their safety. Their scheme had had it's successes and it's unforeseen complications. Yohan was out there somewhere with Temmis and Arlyn, if things had worked out accordingly. Emmer laughed unintentionally, short and breathy. Yohan was safe, and she was tiptoeing through the King's Forest for her life.

Emmer's body ached with the journey from Kale to Isidrid, with the pain of the run from the prisons to the forest. King Norn was angry, that Emmer knew. They had stolen Yohan back, and scattered. To Emmer, it seemed he was taking whomever he could — whether Yohan or Emmer herself. His horse had led the several that trailed after, a fierce black creature. Their arrows had come alarmingly close, but the narrow passage of the forest had been a grace, however small of one. It did not, however, stop them. They were slower, but Emmer could not doubt their tenacity.

And then the world was spinning, whooshing around Emmer at a disorienting speed. She hurt, in a strange burst of pain. It felt as though something had ripped through her chest and set her on fire. She cried out at the shock and the pain to her body, the breath pulled from her lungs. When Emmer looked up, she saw the trees and, around her, snow. She coughed and realized, in horror, that she had fallen— loudly. Then she heard the sounds of hooves against the snow, a swift crunching. It was only a single rider, Emmer heard with some relief, until she caught the vision of Norn on his great mare. His hand reached for an arrow and she pushed herself up and ran through the trees.

She knew being small, and fast, was her one advantage to a king with a poised arrow. Though it turned out to mean hardly anything, for an arrow is much faster than an Earl's daughter. The arrow struck her arm, throwing her backwards into the clearing. All her breathe gone from her, Emmer cried out against the sharp intensity of the pain. Her vision blurred, and she was overwhelmed with the need to heave, a sudden sickness seizing her. She turned onto her bad arm and wretched over the snow, gasping from the pain and the sickness and the knowing that she was very soon to die. What chance had she now? Her breath became fast, a panic seizing her rationale. She had never hurt so much, and she was so very afraid. She tried to right herself again, only for the pain to overwhelm her. With a small, desperate cry, Emmer slumped over into the cold, her injured arm limp. She did not yet see him, but she heard the king swing off from his horse and come forward.

Norn entered the clearing, his bow slung to his side as he progressed. His eyes went to her right arm, the one with his arrow pierced through it. As he trudged forward, the snow crunched under his boots, and Emmer heard each step like the loud beats of her heart. She turned onto her back, groaning as she did so, and her breath was hard, labored as she strained to see the king. As he came closer, she considered him. He was no greater than fifty, with unremarkable eyes. He was of medium build with plain, gray-stricken hair, but what struck Emmer most was how kind he looked. He reminded Emmer of her father, with the same round, companionable quality about him. He was close enough that Emmer could see the laugh lines scrunched around his narrow eyes, tense under the pressure of his glare. It was as striking a thing to see him there as it was to view her bright blood against the snow. Emmer touched a hand to her head, vision swimming again.

How could he want to hurt her, coming towards her with a face like her father's? For a brief moment, Emmer looked beyond the king and thought perhaps that it had all be one grand misunderstanding. It was a strange thought that, in future times, Emmer attributed to her desperate, unsteady awareness. For in the next moment, he was over her like a great tree, strong and tall. She loved trees for their rigid and unchanging ways, for their quiet power. The king was like that, quiet but strong. Yet she now saw strength for the terrifying thing that it could be. He wrapped a gloved hand around the arrow in her arm and jerked it from her. She was screaming from the pain of it all, yet he remained silent, his expression carefully blank. He held the bloody arrow in his hand and considered it.

"I promised my men that it would only take one arrow," he said.

No matter how brave she had thought herself, Emmer was afraid to die, especially in such a way. The king maneuvered the arrow into his bow, orienting the tip at her heart. Emmer closed her eyes, so she could only gamble at what kind of face the king made now. Perhaps when she wasn't looking he wore a sorry look, sorry for what he was about to do, or perhaps he wore a silly grin. Emmer cried as she heard him shift the arrow back.

She waited for the sound of its release, even if she knew it would be too fast to discern. And she waited, and waited.

Stop.

She opened one eye and saw the king, arrow still posed, but stopped. His gray eyes were wide, mouth agape. She had not seen a scant of emotion on his face, even as he was poised to release his arrow into her heart.

Stop.

She made a small noise, something between a gargle and a cry. The king blinked and caught her eye.

"Why didn't you tell me you are a Speaker?" Norn said quietly, in somewhat of a mumble.

"What?" she said, for no other word in her vocabulary could quite capture the sentiment.

"You didn't tell me— why didn't," he frowned at her, thought unfinished.

He kept looking at something behind her and, as much as it agonized her to do so, Emmer craned her neck to glance behind. She did not stop to think about Norn's arrow, for she was speechless for the first time in her life. Utterly, truly speechless.

He was a great white creature, speckled with dark spots around his chest and a few, Emmer saw, under his wings. He settled his snow wings quietly, rustling them with his beak before turning his bright, yellow eyes upon Norn. Norn inhaled, swallowed and closed his open mouth. Emmer blinked and, quite ruining the moment of awed silence, heaved.

Norn nodded very briefly at her and, dropping the arrow, trudged from the clearing without so much as a word. He was all black against the snow in his riding gear as he sauntered off. Emmer heard him mount and ride off. She did not truly know to do next. Was she truly so upset that she could just have imagined that Norn, with his arrow readied at her heart, had simply decided to spare her?

The relationship between a Speaker and a Listener is a sacred thing, something said inside Emmer's mind. It was not her voice, she started, but a smoothe, dark tone that she did not recognize.

Norn believes no greater thing, it said again. And rightly.

Emmer opened her mouth to speak, but could think of nothing to say.

The bird, bright against the snow, swooped down before her. She could see him now without becoming sick. He was large, and so beautiful it almost hurt to see him there. She looked into his yellow eyes and understood. He had been the one speaking to her.

He would have killed you, the owl said, if I had not come. But he knows, Emmer — and he would not cross such a bond.

"Norn?" she said. "I don't—"

Norn himself is a Speaker. He understands. He understands and he and you are similar. He would not.

"Speaker—"she said, then stopped. "Me—" and stopped. "You?"

Yes, said the owl, unblinking. I have been Listening to you.

She could feel the blood on her shoulder now, on her side, on the snow beside her. Her head was light, and the voice inside her that was not her own did not steady her.

"But you're not a dragon."

The voice laughed, a deep bell sound as the darkness rolled in.

--

Norn had dismounted some time ago, confused and angry. He ran between the narrow trees, marched through the snow, muttered curses beneath his breath. He could not sort through his thoughts, so distracted was he. He even almost missed the creature as he pushed through some pesky sort of thorn bush. Norn stopped.

"Thorn," said the king, wide-eyed at the hulking bison. "Am I in danger?" Norn glanced around, but Thorn gave a great shake of his head. No, it said.

You are a good man, Norn, said the creature abruptly, but you have stumbled today.

"Thorn, what—"

You were going to kill her.

"I am a king, Thorn. It is my—"

Your anger got the better of you, king. She was no harm.

"Thorn."

The only danger you have become is to others, Norn. You are a good man… good men do not kill without reason.

Norn said nothing.

I will always Listen, Norn. I hope to hear that you have righted what was never meant to be wronged.
"I didn't kill her," Norn said.

No, you didn't, Thorn said, no, you didn't.

--

Emmer had lived her last weeks in two extremes, in fear and happiness. She had never thought to see her family again, trapped beneath the blank eyes of King Norn. She never thought to see the sun or her bedroom again, cried at the loss of the simple joys in her pleasured life. She had taken them all for granted, sorry for all that she had missed and would never again experience. To have them all again was a miracle that Emmer still wondered at. 

Even with the ache in her arm, a pain she feared would never wane, her life became a string of fascination. She would be going about her day as she always had when, suddenly, the thought would strike her. She would glance at her mother for a moment, pondering, and decide how beautiful a mother she was. She had always known that Hana, with her pale hair and fetching smile, was quite lovely, but it was somehow different— strange. It was the kind of beauty she could only know by almost losing it, a sensation of thankfulness. She saw it in flowers, in sunlight, in her breakfast— in everything. Though, sometimes, she cried, for as greatly aware of her blessings she had become, the unanswered questions remained. Why Norn has spared her remained a vast mysterious in the few weeks that passed. The only greater question was when he would return, and then she would have to lose it all again. A king was a powerful enemy, and, finally, he had come knocking.

It had taken the household by complete surprise, the visit of the Bastian king. It was one thing for a tightly ran castle to welcome in such an auspicious visitor, but quite another for an unsuspecting manor. Upon hearing of Norn's arrival, Emmer's brothers, all seven of them, returned home with varying looks of brazen defiance. Earl Roric of Kale was, in contrast, much worried. He had been expecting word from Baste for some time, as all eight of his children has crossed the king. That was no small crime. Roric greatly feared Norn's retaliation, and it showed in the uneasy set of his mouth.

"To what do we owe the honor, Lord King?" said Roric.

Norn passed the Earl over, a brief nod in his direction, striding farther into the house. It was a finely kept estate, the king decided, blue-gray eyes sweeping over the manor's belongings. Yet it was not half so fine as Norn's stead in Isidrid; it was clean, and perhaps a dash simple, but it was certainly accommodating for a man of rank.

Roric's sons stood in two crooked lines beside Norn, each dipping into a shallow bow as the king passed. At the end of the brothers, he saw her. Her dark eyes peered at him defiantly from behind her youngest brother, right arm limp and wrapped at her side. She had truly vivid eyes, dark like obsidian but bright too. She was, Norn supposed, of considerable beauty. Her face was heart-shaped, framed by full, straight hair, her nose small and lips thin. But it was those eyes that held Norn. Countless ladies had lovely hair and finely cut mouths, but few had burning eyes like hers. Emmer finally looked away, whispering something harshly to the brother at her right, the one who had stolen Norn's little statue.
Norn looked at their father and said, "I've come to speak with your daughter."

"My daughter, Your Grace?" said the Earl, huffing in a great breath of air, nervously eyeing his daughter. "Surely not Emmer—"

"I've come to see your daughter, Lord Kale— the small, impertinent one glaring daggers at me. I assure you that I am not mistaken." Silence. "Lord Kale?"

"Yes, of course," he said.

The gathered family said nothing, a silence hanging between them. Yohan looked down upon his sister, frowning. It should have been him, he had whispered to her moments before. This is my fault.

"Emmer, the king wishes an audience with you," Roric said.

"Father, I—"

The Earl shook his head and came to her, touching the elbow on her uninjured arm. 

"I have taught you to take responsibility for your own behavior," whispered her father, "even if I am afraid for the outcome."

"Father."

Emmer exchanged a look with her eldest brothers, Jebb and Arlyn, before nodding stiffly. She righted her dress. It was pretty, but nothing she would have dared don in the presence of a king, if only she had known. She nodded at the rest of them, narrowing her eyes with a confidence she had not had in the clearing. She had had weeks to prepare for this moment. If she was going to speak with Norn, it was going to be with pride. Aside, Emmer did not think that even Norn had the daring to hurt Lord Kale's daughter in his own home, but she could not be sure. 

She swallowed hard and said to the king: "This way, Lord King."

She led them both into the manor's drawing room. "Will you sit, she asked?"

He turned and said to her, "No."

"I think I will," Emmer said.

They were both quiet for some time, she sitting and he standing. They faced one another in that silence. Emmer considered Norn again, as she had in the clearing. Even then she had thought his face kindly, had wondered at the cruel look in eyes. It had seemed so odd there, fierce and brutal on his soft features, even with his arrow jutting out from her arm. It was nowhere to be found now, and the dull blue of his eyes and pieces of gray amidst his plain hair were positively ordinary.

"I come with a gift for you," Norn said.

Emmer looked up, genuinely surprised, then frowned. Emmer had never received a gift from a king, let alone a king that had tried to kill her. She could not even fully imagine what a king such as Norn should want to offer her. A hanging, beheading, another arrow? Emmer thought it cruel to be called anything other than what it was.

"A gift," she weighed her words, "Lord Norn, what sort of gift could you offer me?"

"An apology," he said, so unabashedly sincere, that Emmer was not sure of herself anymore. She looked from one end of the room to the other, for what she didn't really know. For an answer? Norn probably thought her daft.

"Norn, I—"

He stopped her, and it was not what Emmer had expected. "My son," he said.
Emmer tipped her head, asking, "Your son? Lord, I'm afraid I don't understand."

He came closer and, instinctively, she leaned farther back.

"I have a single son, Lady," Norn said, eyes steady, "and I offer him to you. If you marry him, you will someday be on the throne of Baste."

"I… what?" Emmer leaned in, eyes wide, voice raised.

"I'm giving you my kingdom, Lady. It's everything I have."

"Lord King, I..." Emmer balked, jumping to her feet as he turned. What was she to say to a king who just proposed his son to her?

"Think it over," he said her name, for the first time she noted. He was turning to leave, his hand already on the door, "Emmer." He paused as he said the last bit and then gave her a very small smile, as though he liked the sound of the name on his lips.


Toodle Pip.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Major Minus

Sometimes— sometimes it just hits you. You might be fine one moment before, unaware of it as you are of blinking. Then you'll stop, look up and realize how sad you are. That was this week for me. I was blinking without thinking and then sitting down, wondering how I could survive so far from home. I'm homesick and want my parents and I miss my siblings and why does Redding have to be so far? Why does it rain so much, and why is the mall so tiny and how come one of you is in Hawai'i and the other back home? I stopped and thought about a lot of things I missed. Family, friends, home, Southern California, being there during the holiday seasons. I even thought about my life before college, in high school and in middle school. I miss that, too. I miss sitting next to Junelle and Keniki in the flute section of concert band, I miss fourth period tennis and how, even though I hated Truesdale's English class, it was my favorite because of the people in it. I miss lunch and winterguard and the feeling that the whole, entire world is in front of you, waiting.

It came like an unexpected strike into my gut, knocking me down. Then everything just comes at you because all you want to do is go back to bed and not be sad anymore. But then there is class and things to do, so you just can't stay in bed all morning. You have to get back on the bicycle and realize your life is more than waiting for it to begin and that, yes, you're far from home, but in years to come you'll regret it if you don't cherish it. But then it's hard to stand up because all you want to do is lay against the floor and wait for something to come pick you up. Welcome to my week. It isn't that anything extraordinary is being asked of me, events that ask something beyond my capacity, it's just... well. It's... just a little like I'm being on one of those spinning tilt-a-whirls. I feel car sick, so I close my eyes. Only, I didn't realize how hard it would be to open them again. I've become used to numbing the feeling of the gravity and the spin and the power.

The tilt-a-whirl hasn't slowed down at all, but I feel like I'm beginning to wake up. That my eyes are opening a little with each revolution. I don't want to be stagnant, or still or quiet. As Mufasa would say, You are more than what you have become. So, good morning world. Let's be friends, or, at least, can we be frenemies? I'm going to need some help and some guidance and some energy, but I guess this is a Jesus thing. Not really a world thing.

On today's bright note: Florence + the Machine's newest album Ceremonials is brilliant. Just brilliant. Almost finished listening through.

Toodle Pip.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Lanterns

I like living in Measell.

The rooms are kind of small, and the lobby smells like fish sticks and popcorn, and not in a good way, but it's nice. Ruth and I live in the corner on the first floor and we even have a little back yard, with a bench and a nice stretch of grass. And one of the girls in our apartment-style dorms has a little inflatable kiddy pool in the back, filled with old leaves and cold water. I put my feet in it sometimes. I like to tell people we have a pool. And one of the residents has these big jars that he fills with water and bright lights. He puts them, in varying heights, on the planter and, in the night, you see the jars filled with dazzling colors and it's awful pretty. He pours them out in the morning, but they're always back the following night.

It's not so noisy and there's a nice tree with Ruth's bird feeders. We see it right out our window which Ruth, I suspect, wishes she could watch all day. Beyond our little lawn and bushes is the acres of forest, our real backyard. When I return from class, I sometimes just sit on the bench and look and the bushes and think that it's a really nice bit of backyard we have. And I even like the fish stick and popcorn lobby. It's hardly ever in use and nice place to sit and do homework, or catch the end of Enchanted as I have done. Or to simply marvel in the glories of having three refrigerators and mismatched furniture.

And that is why I like living in Measell.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Nightshade

Yet another plug about my frustration with romantic trends in YA literature.

I'm currently reading a YA paranormal (what can I say, I'm a masochist with a library card) called Nightshade. I read an unfavorable review for it, but I still decided to give it a spin. It's got a lovely cover, so that really was the tipping point, I regret to admit. Anyhow, it really began interestingly enough, and there is certainly nothing wrong with Andrea Cremer's actual writing. The little problem here, halfway through, is a little thing called Shay. Or, more appropriately, Calla and Shay. Calla is the protagonist and leader of this wolf pack they call the Guardians. I was actually really interested in the specifics of their Guardian-Keeper-Master-Search world of magic and wolf-changing. It was compelling, even when the characters weren't.

Except I'm not really here to talk about the book itself, but about the relationship between Calla and Shay and Calla and Ren. So, Ren is the alpha male to Calla's alpha female. They're basically betrothed and he's a bit of a ladies man. But he's getting his act together as their union approaches and he tries to make her transition into their new life as easy as possible. He's kind to her, wants to protect to her and, for the most part, treats her as an equal. So of course she spends the book thus far calling him controlling and resisting his attempts to get to know her better. She still plans to go through with the marriage and is even attracted to him, but along comes the human boy Shay who she should not be with. To be with him would mean discarding Ren's kindness, abandoning her new pack (which includes her best friend, brother and other friends), her possible death and the endangerment of her entire world. So she really likes him, of course. Any sane person would run the other way.

And some would argue that love is love, and you should do what you can to keep it. But she and Shay don't love each other. At. All. It's the Romeo and Juliet, Edward and Bella business. Shay and Calla met when he was dying (of course she saved him, so don't worry your quickening fangirl hearts). He is the obvious, instantaneous love interest that is, well, instantaneous. And, in the midst of dying, oh so beautiful. She was drawn to Shay right away, his touch was electric. And he wasn’t even an eel. So, I just kept thinking, I don’t want this to happen. Yeah, Shay is handsome. But if he were injured or dying, his face ought to contort in the same way a normal person’s does. It would be painful and probably not incite much wonder about his beauty. He might be ugly or, in the very least, no one would care about the sheen of his eyes of hair. But she does, oh she does.

I think there should be, like normal couples, the tinging where he touches her arm or when she leans on his shoulder. But I like it where love is a warm, companionable thing and, yes, sometimes exciting. But at the same time I want characters to be able to function independently, without being intoxicated by the mere presence of one another. Perhaps some people (who?!) really have that, but what most characters need is something that isn't so wholly expressed in the tingle of their skin or the gold flecks in his handsome eyes. To rely on each other for strength, but rarely to spout their love in a dramatic confession. Something very simple, but, to me, very powerful. More powerful than the electric touch of the skin. They have trust, friendship and each others’ back. At least, if I were the alpha female to a pack of magical wolves, that's what I would want.

Which is not to say that I don't think characters shouldn't have physical feelings for one another. I mean, they should want to kiss each other and be mutually attracted,  without that being all they are. I want more for them. I do. So, I've told you about Shay and Ren. If Calla and Shay really, truly loved each other, then I could handle her risking not just her life, but the life of every person she knows. Because that would at least be feasible. But Shay looks nice and she is memorized by his electric touch and he isn't something she can have. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS. And I already know where this is going. I read it in Firelight just two months ago. She'll battle this way and that about how she wants him, can't have him, stay away - your'e dangerous! But eventually she'll let him lay ruin to her life and the lives of those around her. It happened to Jacinda and Will in Firelight, but at least Calla is a little smarter. But not for much longer, I fear.

This is more of a 'WHY DO YOU NOT LISTEN TO ME, YOU FOOLISH GIRL?!' blog. Because it's like watching a train wreck over and over again. You know what's going to happen but you can't look away.

I need to stop doing this to myself.

Toodle Pip.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Mortification Is

Let us recap the almost-finished first week of school. I like to call it, Mortification Is:

So, let's play!

Mortification is somehow managing, though I left my room at an on-schedule time, to be late to every first class. Except for Ecology, but only because Monte had the schedule a little mixed up. So, that doesn't even count.

Mortification is getting into LR less than a minute before class starts and realizing that I forgot the paper that had the classroom number on it. So walking aimlessly and staring into the classroom windows looking for familiar faces, that is, except for the one in the far corner that I forgot about... then doing the same on the second floor. Then scurrying to the library to log onto WebAdvisor (after having to boot up a computer and sign in). Then getting the classroom number -- 103, I believe -- and realizing that it was that corner room I forgot about. How precious.

Mortification is hitting your head on the bottom bunkbed while Ruth watches on.

Mortification is putting on my princess backpack, new Nalgene in the pocket and flinging it from the pocket across the room... at the person you don't know but who the professor has, coincidentally, paired with you as your presentation partner. Then trying to joke and saying, "Sorry I missed," but he only stares at you and walks off. Then thinking about the assured awkwardness to come. Precious.

Mortification is randomly sitting next to someone in Philosophy thinking they aren't going to talk creepily to themselves periodically through the next hour. And then realizing I assumed wrong. And then vowing to get there early next time in order to find a different seat.

Mortification is throwing my arms open to hug someone whom I see from a distance, assuming it's a friend, and then, upon closer inspection, finding out that she's a stranger.

Mortification is asking at the dorm meeting if we can, like fish, have snails in little aquariums. Everyone assumes it's a joke to the No Pet Policy, when I really just wanted a snail.

Mortification is going into your chorale audition, having the first part be totally chill, and then having to show your teacher whom you had for a good solid four hours a week (both semesters) that I'm still abysmal at sight reading. But then he tries and tries to get you to succeed at it and you still don't and he just gives you a look that says, Enough, enough. Dear God.

Mortification is putting ranch dressing on my plate for french fries and, while it looks like I put the ladle properly back into the bowl, it actually falls out and splatters ranch down the leg of an unsuspecting Redding resident and it squishes (with an ever-so-lovely sound) into her sandals.

Mortification is getting a, like, sixty page syllabus.

Mortification is realizing that there is probably more I forgot, much more, and it's only the first week of school.

Oh, dear.

Toodle Pip.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Halycon

It's really funny, on account of how loud a person I am, but I really like the quiet.

I like to be in quiet rooms or in quiet spaces. I also like the dark, because it's more quiet than the light, don't you think? I like silence and soft music and warm feelings, quiet, lulling things. The irony of this is that I'm a walking vuvuzuela, loud and spastic and, well, loud. I like sitting in dark closets and just listening to myself breathing and thinking, 'Wow, it's so loud outside of this closet, and so nice and quiet and safe in here'. I like ears better than mouths, and I really love water. More than touching it, I like how calm and quiet water is. It's why I like baths over showers. In a bath, I can put my ears underwater and listen to the faucet and the sloshing of the water and how quiet it seems to be. Warm and soft and silent water is lovely. I also like the first moments when you wake up on weekend mornings, waking when you tell yourself to, not to an alarm. Those moments are so quiet. They're comfortable and easy and friendly, yours and still and sluggish. I also like autumn, because it's the only season that's really silent. It's a transition between the brightness of summer to winter. It's beautiful and new and inviting, and I love it. I love hugs, too, because they're special and close, but they're also gentle. Not like handshakes or kisses or what have you. And Christmas morning I adore. My world stops, still, breathless, thankful, touching, quiet. I just love quiet things.

Toodle Pip.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I heard it from [insert person],

Or get an opinion of your own already.

Where to start? I've been meaning to write this for some time, and I got some extra special inspiration today. Let's just say it already, two of the most controversial words in all of religion: Harry Potter. Now, a caveat: I love Harry. I've only read Rowling's first novel, but I've seen all of the movies in theaters, a couple of them opening night. And, believer though I am, I love the series and will finish up the remaining six books. So, as I way saying, Harry Potter is a big deal in the church. He's mainly thought to be Satan's right hand wizard, evil and wretched as can be, corrupting the morals of boys and girls everywhere. Ah, the hysteria. Even if you've never been to church, you know. It's serious taboo, depending on the church. Picture it, if you will.

I'm on a movie date with my grandmother and her friend, Pat, a fellow widow. Pat's granddaughter is also there. Guess what we're seeing? I think it was Nancy Drew, so it was ways away and I still remember. During the previews one of them is for the latest Harry Potter movie, which I think was Halfblood Prince but I'm not positive. A second after it finishes, Pat gasps: "No, there is no way I'm letting any grandchild of mine see that sorcery," is a furious whisper. Another caveat: get used to this. Good Christian mothers and grandmothers and aunts and fathers and older brothers cringe away from the evil that is Harry Potter. 'Cause, you know, it's evil.

But, for the sake of science, run a little experiment. Bring up the Boy Who Lived to fellow churchgoers. After the writhing and the sputtering bump to a stop, say with your best poker face: "Ah, so you've read the books?" And then watch and listen, because there will be a pause. And add: "No? Then the movies?" Wait out the next silence, and then: "Not even the trailers?" You scientist, you. This is problem #1. Whoever told you Harry Potter is evil heard it from someone who has never read the books/seen the movie from someone who has also never done anything but heard it from someone else who never read the books or seen the movies. It's pure ignorance. And I mean no disgrace to churches everywhere, mine included. Because my church has a lot of great, wise, true things to say. This just isn't one of them.

But if that wasn't enough to satisfy Pat or whatever church widow or mother or aunt or father who came to me, swearing I was a heathen for defending Harry Potter, let us plow on. I've gathered a few points against the magical franchise from legitimate religous Potter Hatters.

  • God shows us that witchcraft, sorcery, spells, divination and magic are evil.
It's here where I think we need to define witchcraft -- what it really is in the context of real life and what it is in Potterverse. What it really is is evil, and that's not something I'm morally able to argue. We're talking demons here, deals with the devil, selling souls kind of dark stuff. That's seriously creepy. But Harry Potter, while not blind to the term witchcraft is more... magic. Playing sports with broomsticks, transporting dimensions. Let's see: imagine, if you will, a gun. If someone in my church found out my parents had a gun for whatever reason -- hunting, self-defense -- they would not eye us like heretics. Not like they would if I had a magic wand. But, you know what a gun can do? It can kill people, a lot of people. It's got the potential to protect my family or to hurt somebody else's. It can be in good or bad hands. The magic in Harry Potter is very much the same; it is a gun, for all intents and purposes. There are good wizards and bad wizards. Some who want to hurt, and the others who protect. There is a very defined line of right and wrong, and magic has nothing to do with it. Guns and knives and words can do anything that magic can, in the world of Harry Potter.

  • The movie's foundation in fantasy, not reality, doesn't diminish its power to change beliefs and values.
As a good friend once said, "Is there anything in The Chronicles of Narnia or Lord of the Rings that looks like magic to you?" Both have movie adaptions, both written by religious authors penning spiritual themes into both series' -- both are magical. Like I said earlier, Harry Potter is no different than, say, a Disney movie. Bad guy, good guy. Good guy fighting to save the world, teaching strong morals, setting boundaries of what is good and what is bad. A classic struggle. Seriously, how many people go to see these movies being transformed into Wicca converts because they saw a Harry Potter movie. What they take from the films are Harry's perseverance and his vow to not let evil overcome us. How is this different than us?


  • God tells us to "abhor what is evil" and "cling to what is good."
Team Harry.

  • Blind to the true nature of God, children will blend (synthesize) Biblical truth with pagan beliefs and magical practices.
Ohmygosh. Fine, don't take you children to see movies every again. Don't let them watch TV, read books. Why, one minute they're reading Nancy Drew and then they think their sleuths on the search for gold. Don't even think about putting news on in your household. Next thing you know your kids are high-jacking a Southwest headed for the Everglades. Seriously, don't have double standards. I'm not suggesting that, with PG-13 ratings, your children should be watching Harry Potter, not at all. Because I think they shouldn't, not until they're old enough to handle any PG-13 movie. But, seriously, if you're that scared, move far into the woods.

  • While some argue that Harry and his friends model friendship and integrity, they actually model how to lie and steal and get away with it.
Said this writer. Conveniently with no examples. You know, kids can liestealgetawaywithit without Harry's help. They learn just fine from the real, adult peers in their lives. I argue that Harry does teach a model of friendship and integrity. Harry, Hermione and Ron go through the entire ordeal of all seven books together. They stick with one another - love, support, carry on. But, had someone never read the books/seen the movie, they wouldn't have the chance to actually see this.

*waves hand* These are just some of the major complaints from anti-Potters. None of which, when you actually read or watch through, stand well enough on their own. I mean, if you can't get over the fact that there is magic in the books and movies, that's cool. It is. But don't go telling other people the evils of Harry Potter with such ignorance, especially if you like Bewitched, I Dream of Jeanie or anything with satan's fingernail polish magic in it. I mean, the magic and the gun thing is how I see. There's good and bad. This isn't the demon-summoning, devil-dealing witchcraft we're talking here. And you might say that having anything to do with that, evil or not, is enough to condemn the books then I don't know what to tell you. But it's not that big a deal. It's a book series. It's inspired children all over the world to read, to dream, to want to be good and noble and loyal like Harry Potter. Those are great things. And, moreover, J.K Rowling is a fabulous author. She's witty and smart and adventurous.

So, I'm not saying to go rent all movies and have a marathon. If you don't like the books, fine. Just don't freak out about them, because, well, it's really stupid.

EDITEDITEDIT: OHMYGOSH, I kid you not. For those of you in-the-know. Remember that insane bible track thing Becca got with her birthday stuff, referencing Lucifer Dethroned, some memoir about a 'real' ex-Vampire. Where I got the bulk of these points, the article - it REFERENCES THAT BOOK, chapter 18, as see also. Givehimthebusiness!

Toodle Pip.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Some Girls Are

You know, I wish I had something awful witty and hip to blog about (are the kids still saying 'hip' these days?).

As you can imagine by reading my opening line, no such luck. Incoming: I have two massive earaches, one in each ear. Stuffy, hurting, voila. Even as I write this, I wonder where it (said topic-less blog post) is going. Let it ruminate. This is dangerously becoming a rant about my ears, both of them, but if you look below to the stomach flu post, I've already filled my Why me, Why me! quota for the month. So, let me think s'more. Well, mostly, I've been reading a lot lately, trying to get to the finish line of my Goodreads challenge as quickly as I can. I just hit 25 out of 50 books for the year, which is sad, but last semester was a doozy - just not time for reading. Are the kids still saying 'doozy' these says? I digress.

Oh, but now that I think about it, something irked me in a book I read today called Nature of Jade by Deb Caletti. It was just okay, a little blah, a little boring. It was just okay; mixed feelings, really, and I had to slug through parts - at times, chipping the nail polish of my fingernails was more fetching. So one of the characters in this mediocre novel, Jenna, recently goes to Bible Camp and becomes a Christian. And, all of a sudden, she can't stand to be around anyone who uses the word God out of context or uses foul language. And I get it, I do, especially for a new Christian - it's like, "I AM ON FIRE!" for God and his causes. It's not so much that she does these things, per se, than the way Caletti writes Jenna. Jenna is a stick in the mud, chafes at anything that doesn't have WWJD scrawled across it. And I'm just like, I hate when people do this, assume because Jenna doesn't curse or party or drink that she's got to be written as an uncompromising shrewd.

And not even just the way religious girls are portrayed in media. But in another book I read yesterday, Some Girls Are, the Queen Bee of the bunch Anna is an unrelenting harpy out to ruin the lives of unpopular students. Life isn't cut-and-dry like that -- people are not cut-and-dry like that. They are not all they appear to be; on fire for Jesus or queen of the school. There's a story behind everything somebody does. They are not simply mean or simply nice. I don't like curse words or God out of context and I don't party, but, at the same time, I'm not the Christian Police, especially to people who believe other things. In a book spewing how misguided that stereotypes are, Caletti wrote Jenna as an extremely stereotypical Christian teenager. Pious, annoying. To be fair, she wrote that way about the cheerleader too. Come on, cheerleaders need love.

It wasn't about that Jenna was Christian or that Anna was popular. It was about that they were not given any kind of chance to show the reader that, yes, sometimes we can be like this, but, no, we are not who you think we are.

Toodle Pip.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Spoken Word Stomach Flu

I'm blogging about goulash. Imagine, if you will, a, b, c.

You will never feel the same about it, once it goes through your nose.

Marinated with tapatio, cayenne pepper, garlic salt, spices.

Especially when it goes through your nose multiple times.

Trust me.

It was only a small bowl, maybe a handful or a little more.

But it produced, perhaps, a gallon of byproduct. Who knows?

Only the toilet will ever know.

How is that even possible?

Only the toilet knows.

Got a blueberry icee from ampm -

in the am, there was blue in the toilet bowl.

*breathe* Only the toilet knows,

my sorrows, my woes, my lunch.

Forever in the pipes of life, only the toilet knows.

About me and goulach.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Just Add Water

Today I got a glimpse of Armageddon, fresh and ready-to-go.

A water pipe burst on our street. That means no water. And, don’t get me wrong, this has happened before… but we got a letter today from the people who run the base where I live, stating: ‘At this time I do not have an estimated time that the water will be back on…If you are in need of a water source we have set up a hose.’ ON ANOTHER FLIPPING STREET. So, here I am, with no shower/no indoor plumbing. We have to dump water in our toilets just to go. AND I HAVE NOT SHOWERED. And they don’t know when the water will be back on. Some nine hours later and we’re without water. We have six gallons of water from the store we happened to have and can trek down to another street to use a hose. Ohmigoshyey. Yey.

So, I was thinking that this was something akin to the apocalypse, or maybe just one of those very keen ’don’t’ take [INSERT THING] for granted’. But, really, we never expect to lose our water for such a long time. And then I began to feel a little ridiculous for throwing such a fit when there are millions of people without clean water to drink, let alone shower in. If they had access to a hose of clean (-ish… this is Southern California tap we’re talking here) water, I wonder how many miles they would walk to reach it. 12? 50? 100? And I won’t walk down the street with oily hair to get some. Yeah, I know.

So, while it sucks, it really does put some things into perspective. I can get over it, because it’s not like I’m dehydrated or covered in sludge. I just want a shower. Really, I want the water back, but some people can’t have the water back, you know? So, when the pipe is repaired, I’ll do a little jig and thank God, because water is a gift.

And… Dihydrogen Monoxide is a fancy name.

Toodle Pip.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Teapots, Books, Steak?

Greetings, peasants/fans!

First blog since leaving Simpson. Woosh. Well, I blog mostly because the missing is starting to kick in. And, above that, I wish I had more to tell you. But May was... May. My catch-up, sleep-in month. By that I mean this: my sleeping schedule is OFF. It always happens - my sleeping pattern gets thrown off, and I lurk mostly in the moonlight. Daylight burns. Today, though, I got up at 8:30, and you know why? Yes, that's right. SATURDAY THRIFT SHOPPING! I got a Mickey toaster (*sqeeeeee*) and awesome, awesome books. Plus a SUPER cute orange and purple teapot. The lid is a hat! I think it's going to be my thing as I get older. Books and teapots. I love tea and reading, so there you go. I'll post a picture of my teapot on FB later. It's 12:48am right now, so I digress. And that's it? Except...

Today and Sam's Club, as I reach for a steak sample:

Food Lady: "How old are you?"
Me: "..."
FL: "Are you old enough to eat this without your parents? How old are you?"
Me: "Twenty."
FL: "Oh! Oh! I thought you were fifteen!" (sees my face) "It's a compliment! You'll look great when you get older!"
Me: "Mhmm. Give me the steak, troll." (I didn't actually say it, but I wish I had)

Aaaand. That's it.

Toodle Pip.

Friday, April 29, 2011

My Overflowing... Heart...

Yesterday could have been better. Besides waking up to an overflowed (like, really, seeping into the carpet action) toilet, things just didn't go according to plan. Well, no my plan anyhow. Let's just break this down so I can have some peace:
  • Woke up to overflowed toilet...OBN.
  • Waited for maintenance who came, said they'd send a janitor.
  • They still haven't come, and we can't shower or use our own bathroom. Huzzah.
  • OBN comes to me this morning, "The toilet looks bad still" as if, while she was not in the room all day, it would magically get clean. Irk.
  • Slipped on a piece of paper in the room on my back from a shower in another dorm... my elbow caught my fall on the pointy wall plastic. I've never seen my elbow bleed before today.
  • Massive earache. Had to take ibuprofen + benadryl; knocked out until 3 in the morning...
  • Was supposed to finish studying for Genetics last night. Doing it now. 
  • Speaking of Genetics: Last night I went to Trent's house with Daniel (carpooling) for our review session. All goes well until the last five minutes as we wrap up inbreeding: "We don't want our population, you guys, inbreeding," he says, laughter in place, "At least, not until you two are married." INSERT MY INSANE GLARE. Insert his laugh, "Her face! Her face!" And so I am met with Daniel's stare as I am apologizing silently about my horror. 
  • Insert more earache.


What went right, you say?
  • Finished Chem HW. Woo

Genetics exam in four hours. -_-

Toodle Pip. 

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Kiss & Cry

It's here, the most dreaded week of the school year. Not Spirit Week (that's #3, trailing behind Stick 'Em and...), but Finals Week! I think it deserves to be capitalized, don't you? Anyhow, I've got plenty to do, but I'm not too stressed. Two finals (O Chem, Genetics), plus my juries. Not too bad, right? I've got a load of Chem homework to do, though. But I'm not worried. So, I don't have much to blog about. Not that I haven't done anything fun, because that afternoon at Anne's was simply marvelous. I guess this is just going to serve as a tying of loose ends blog. That's very much what this week is shaping up to be. Finishing up school, turning in last assignments, taking last tests, moving out, saying temporary (or not so temporary) Bon Voyage's' to friends.  I don't have much else to write about. School is almost over.

Some thing I'll miss - friends, my room (I really do like my little setup), the clean air of Redding. I'll miss Redding, too. I don't get to see it too often, only in rare glimpses, but there's something about it I like. But at least I'll be returning home, a truly wonderful place. I love Riverside. I didn't when I lived there, though. But when I came to Simpson and came home for my first few breaks, I was in love. Being away from my home put it into clear perspective. It just used to be a smoggy, hot place - now it's a place of possibilities! I really do love and adore Riverside. If you couldn't live there anymore, so would you. Moreover, I learned how much, despite certain contentions, my family is wonderful. I just pray that I remember this over the summer. Note to self: YOU LOVE THEM.

So, Organic chem final done. I hope I did well, but I never know. I really, REALLY want a good score on my Genetics exam, so I'm going to have to buckle down for that soon. In the meantime, while I have you all here... THESE BLASTED FEATHER-THINGS! I don't know how prolific they are in the Southern (and better) part of the state, but what is with this madness?! Why don't you just go spear a hawk in the Mojave and pluck some of his feathers and weave them into your hair? That is legitimately cool. Getting manufactured feathers and paying to have them stuck in your hair for three months is not. WHY DOES NO ONE SEE THIS? Those are you (you know who you are EMILY, ANNE, BECCA!) who have fallen pray to this... I do't even know what, my apologies at your misfortune.

But Becca knows better. In fact, our conversation went a little something like this roughly():

C: I HATE those feathers... it's like, for THREE MONTHS.
B: I'm thinking of getting some.
C: My face, I swear.
B: I thought about it at the beginning of the semester, you know.
C: NO. I will not talk to you if you have those in your hair. They're awful!
B: This is the way you're going to parent, isn't it? Refuse to talk to them, saying, 'If you don't do this, I'll never speak to you again'?
C: I think so; I already threatened my mom I'd dye my hair blond with magenta streaks if she quits her physical therapy.
B: Let me dye your hair.
C: She said she would never talk to me if I ever died my hair... (realization) You see where I get it from now, don't you?
B: I do. Doesn't Emily have feathers too, though? ...You still talk to her.
C: My face.
B: Becca's face.
C: You know, she got them before I knew it. It was to late.
B: DOUBLE STANDARD! Will you talk to Anne?
C: ...
B: TRIPLE STANDARD!
C: You know what, they're awful! AWFUL!
B: You're just being stupid. You now, I didn't like Porco Rosso (one of my favorite movies). But I don't say anything about it. Like feathers, it's a lifestyle choice, Courtney. I don't say anything about your lifestyle choice.
C: You told me you hated it.
B: That was once.
C: WE ONLY WATCHED IT ONCE! I'd have to see those things for THREE MONTHS! You only had to watch Porco Rosso for (if my DVD is to be believed) 93 minutes!
B: You're being stupid.
C: What am I supposed to do? String Porco Rosso in my hair like those stupid feathers, have a DVD danging in my hair?
B: Yes!
C: I JUST MIGHT DO IT!

And that's it for now... And in closing.

Toodle Pip.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Lady Lovely Locks is my jam

Look at my header, now to me. Back to my header and back to me.

So this is my new real header, because the last one I didn't like so much. Anyhow, meet Lady Lovely Locks and her faithful companion, Silky Pup. This was one of my favorite shows as a child; I would play my Lady Lovely Locks and the Pixietales VHS day and night. So my parents, naturally, destroyed it... I've never been the same. Lady had everything a 5-year-old Courtney could have wanted: a pink steed (named Silky Mane, of course), Silky Pup, a ginger best friend (Maiden Curly Crown), a kingdom (Lovelylocks) and an arch nemesis named Duchess Ravenwaves who oddly resembled her sister. I WAS Lady Lovely Locks.

Ah, how I miss those days. In any case...go brush your hair or something. It's what Lady would have wanted.


p.s. - the layout probably won't stay long; you know, too much pink. And I love that theme song!

Toodle pip.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence - FYI

I've been home and back, endured 104 degree weather, slugged through crowded lines at the Happiest Place on Earth and had good things to eat. Life is good, but school has rolled back around (as it tends to do). Will school ever end someday? How will I feel when it does? ...I have at least another six to seven years to contemplate this baffling question. In any case, I'm super busy this month week, so I don't know how much blogging I'll be able to do. Studying before buddying!

On that note, I didn't want this blog to be a swirling vortex of meaninglessness. Thus, I have for you...!










With that said, Toodle Pip! 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Latency Wars

Sometimes, and it’s been a good while since I’ve realized this, but sometimes I could just stick my sister into a box with some holes and mail her off to some remote island somewhere in the tropics to live off of coconuts and rainwater.

Oh, the exchange went something like this:

A: “Courtney!!!” (I use three to indicate volume, mind you)
C: “What?”
A: “Are you on the internet?!!!” (Oh, what a loaded question)
C: “…Yes…”
A: “GET OFF.”
C: “I’m doing homework…”
A: “WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME BEFORE I STARTED PLAYING THE GAME?!?!?!?!?!!!!!”

“The Game” is an online video game known as “League of Legends”… it’s about as geeky as you might expect. I digress. Frankly, I wasn’t aware that I was supposed to be telling Ashley when I am, and when I am not, doing my homework. My mistake.

Twenty minutes after I was booted from cyberspace:

A: “Courtney!!! Are you ON THE INTERNET?!?!”
C: *sigh* “No, Ashley. I’m not.”

Five minutes after that, and repeat.

Ten minutes after that I go to the bathroom only to hear Ashley barging into my room… my thoughts? ‘Oh, no! Finnick! I’m coming! Be strong, Finnick!’

And lo and behold, there she was, disconnecting my WiFi. I wasn’t using the internet, but my WiFi was on.

C: “Uh, what are you doing?”
A: “Getting you off WiFi.”
C: “Why?”
A: “Because it’s screwing up my game.”
C: “…”

And she marches from the room.

Then, icing on the cake that she always is:

A: (barging, quite literally, into the room) “I just wanted to let you know that, since I disconnected you, my latency has gone from FIVE THOUSAND to forty seven.” And then she marches imperiously from the room.

Latency is, I think, what “League of Legends” measures as lagging. So her statement = I’m going faster no thanks to you.

My mom and I stare at her, stunned.

Five minutes later I tell my mom:

C: “I just wanted to let you know-”
Mom: “Don’t start.”
C: “- that my happiness has gone from five thousand to forty seven since she’s been home.”

I’m going to go post this now… to do so, I must turn on my WiFi… if she catches me, I probably won’t make it back to school… if I don’t show up, you know which name to give the police. I'm a little scared.

ONWARD HO!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Is this the real life?

“…The first time you were happy when you woke up in the morning, full of plans you wanted to accomplish…” He fell silent.

“When was that?” Kate wanted to know.

“That one hasn’t happened yet,” he admitted. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Maybe so,” she murmured, closing her eyes.


My great day, oddly enough, started with a nightmare. About a vampire witch from 1910 hunting me down in an alternate universe. Actually, here’s the more in-depth story - trust me, it’s a doozy.

My parents and I are traveling marriage counselors. So, we’re seeing this couple, slightly middle-aged. Apparently they’re mainly there for the husband. His wife shows us a picture of them, and it first it seems obvious that the husband is unhappy. It’s a picture of them standing in a hallway - she’s smiling and he’s frowning something fierce. And so we go on about trying to cheer this man up and fix their marriage… but as the dream goes on, I look more closely at the picture… There is a deck of cards floating in the air, as if by themselves, like magic. And next to them standing in the hallway, there is a door, and out that door claws are reaching at the man. And she’s just smiling. At this point, the dream started to get REALLY creepy when I realized that something was up with the wife… who bore a strange resemblance to a watered-down Kathy Griffin. I think that this is most likely irrelevant.

So, once I start to notice something is wrong, so do my parents. And when I confront the wife, all Hell breaks loose. The dream gets a little hazy here, I admit. Somehow this transitions into a group of specter-like vampires infiltrating this place where we were “counseling” the “couple”. Turns out, they’re like this gang of crazy vampire. Except some of them are very adamant about not killing humans (the…nice ones, I guess) but the leader, crazy vampire witch (we’ll call her Kathy), is not taking it well. She loves her some human. And when she realizes that about 80% of her clan is going to betray her, she freaks. At this point, I see my parents run off into the hills, and they never reappear in the dream after this.

So, she throws some lightning bolts and does some really cool explosions. Kathy actually reminded me a lot of Voldermort. Basically, she’s this evil tyrant with a wicked temper and lack of general feelings… you know, other than hate. So, anyhow, her vampire clan begins to scatter. Only two or three of them remained loyal, so the rest run for the hills (and safety). It goes like this (quotes are things actually said):

“Burn in Hell, Jasper!” she yells as she throws some lightning at Jasper… and he explodes.

“Die! All of you, die!”

And the like.

It was all pretty creepy. It sounds silly, but I kept waking up frightened. And then I’d go back to sleep and the dream would then resume. *sigh*

So, after this whole mess, I think a couple months went by and Kathy spent the next few months terrorizing Europe. And then, as I mentioned earlier, my dream changed into another universe or dimension. All of a sudden, it’s like period Europe, or maybe some kind of fantasy world. I’m not really sure. But it was very much a place without technology of any kind and where girls wore dresses and boys wore loose shirts and boots. Like something from a Tamora Pierce novel. Hopefully you get the idea?

So, I (a newly realized vampire hunter) find out that Kathy is in this city/town place, haunting the people and killing a few. So I turn the people against her and organize a team of townspeople to help me vanquish her. And it was kind of graphic, but not too bad. We eventually catch her as she rampages the streets. And, to keep the violence brief, she gets stabbed a few times, beat up and some other lovely things. At the end of it all, I exclaim her death. The girl looked dead. So, we’re triumphant for about four seconds before she sits up and laughs…

“You almost killed me,” she gets up and flies off, “But not quite.”

It just goes from bad to worse. Somehow (I’m not really sure how this happened), she gets the entire universe (actually, the dream only happens in this one place, this one town thing) against me. There are wanted signs, a warrant for my death and all this other great stuff. Kathy eventually seizes control of The Town and begins running it like a well-oiled totalitarian machine. And one thing is clear: my assassination is her priority. But I’ve gone into hiding. And this was the part of the dream I really found interesting, the most novel-like quality of it.

So, I went into hiding. And I can’t really describe it all that well, but I went into a string of different hiding stints -- one at an all boys school, one in a rocky tunnel. Eventually, I woke up and my dream ended on a rather unfinished note. While she hunts me down, I take on a host of identities and meet new people, many who are willing to help me through my troubles. But, alas, my alarm clock went off at 7:40 and the dream came to an end.

I’ll always wonder what happened in the final battle between me and the Vampire Witch who looked like Kathy Griffin.