Queen of the Uglies

There is nothing quite so great as re-discovering what fun a friend can be. Now, I don’t normally blog at 4 in the morning… in fact, I’m not usually awake at this hour. But amazing, and I do mean amazing, things transpired tonight. I didn’t log onto FB after dinner thinking I would be up this late. I actually intended to be off by eleven so that my sleeping schedule could stabilize in time for school. Now, when I logged on I ended up chatting with my good, old friend Junelle - or, as you may (or may not) know her: J, Jelly, Wally, Jelly Bean, Junelley, Duck, etc. We started of talking about music and sharing links.

Then, after a while, we started a sort of bucket list of thing we’re going to do some day, in theory. You know, little goals and fun things you want to accomplish before you die. Or, in this case, get old. Some of the things we talked about were going to cranberry farms, a road trip, being Youtube stars by cosplaying as Sailor Scouts and doing a frame-by-frame transformation at places like Borders, Disneyland and Chipotle. You know, the like. Normal stuff. Junelle would, of course, be Sailor Moon with her cheerful and ditsy (but fun) disposition. And I would cosplay as Venus, who has awesome shoes.

Anyhow, it gets better. MUCH. Music > Sadness > Road trip > Sailor Scouts > Transormation > Looking for Sailor Venus transformation wand on eBay (which is, by the way, like $100)… sure does cost to be a scout. So, I ended up scouring eBay for other Venus paraphernalia and ended up looking at OTHER cosplay which then turned into a little practice Junelle and I have honed over the years. We love looking at cosplay, especially the Gothic Lolita stuff, because some of it is quite insanely cute. And quite insanely ugly, as well. After ‘bout twenty minutes of browsing the cute, we ended up wordlessly creating the “Our Daughters Misbehave So Badly We Force Them To Wear Hideous Cosplay” game. The premise begins like so:

Example -
Junelle: “She (her daughter) sold grandpa for a Gucci purse in the airport.” JUNELLE'S UGLY PUNISHMENT DRESS.
Courtney: “When she flunked Calculus.” MY UGLY PUNISHMENT DRESS.

If you don’t really, and understandably, get it… basically, our future daughters (respectively) are so disobedient and such miscreants that the only way we can punish them is by making them wear hideous clothing. The uglier the crime, the uglier the dress. You make think this absurd, but this kept us busy for a few hours and would have continued if the most amazing thing had not happened. I’ll tell you that later in this entry. Junelle is one of the only people who could have sustained this game with me for as long as we played it. We both get a kick out of ugly cosplay, I guess.

All I have to say about our future daughters is, God… please… no. If half of what was written tonight comes to pass, they’re going to have drawers and drawers filled with hideous apparel. On a brighter note, I’m actually considering this as a future form of punishment!

So, now, the moment you’ve been waiting for. The moment that may possibly make your life as it did mine…

While searching for more ugly dresses, in hopes of crowning my “Our Daughters Misbehave So Badly We Force Them To Wear Hideous Cosplay” glory, I ran across the most ugly dress in all creation. You might think this a gross understatement of a careless hyperbole… but I kid you not. I. Kid. You. Not. In fact, it’s so amazingly awful that I want it. Forever. I’m going to buy it and wear it every Sunday on afternoon strolls with my good friend, J. We’re going to be the envy of society women and bring an end to world hunger. We’ll be on the news and become Youtube stars. We’re going to change the world with the swish of our linens and the glimmer of hats. We’re going to dress the moon down from the sky and be thrown out of chuch. We’re going to be awesome.

And, for the rest of my close lady friends, you’re next. There are several other hideous dresses which may suit you quite wonderfully. They’re ‘everything’ dresses. I might even get married in mine… at least, my brides maids will wear them… (:

So, now. Do you think you are ready to view the ugliest dress in all creation? The dress what will change the world and bring me everyday happiness and save the whales? Wait no longer.

BAM!

For your perusal, Junelle’s ridiculously hideous dress...

POW!

The others could be yours, they‘re calling to you.

Becca-ness~ I saved a special one for you!

It’s a very fulfilling sensation to know you found, and will own someday own, the ugliest dress in all creation. I’m content. What else in my life could compare to this? Definitely worth staying up late for. Definitely.

By the way, I won the game.

Yey.

Toodle Pip.